Friday, November 18, 2011

Just Done!

i am so done with everything right now. i completely broke down last night... told my husband i just done with it all and even him. i told him everything on my mind, i woke up today and theyre back at video games. he told me last night we would see if we could borrow the car to go to babies r us for the baby and he hasnt even asked. now theyre outside putting up lights because there wass a pause in the snow and then theyre probably going back to the damn video games. im stuck with my kids and our friends son in the houses and im not supposed to be running after kids. im just stressed out and done with it all. im trying my hardest to hold back tears but its near impossible. i am so upset with chris that i could scream. did i mention how left out i feel always having to be by myself??? they go to the store for a few hours every day while i sit on the couch doing absolutely nothing, they are all outside laughing and having a great time while im inside keeping kids out of stuff. i feel like my husband would rather i just not be around and that is not a good feeling. he doesnt even acknowledge me. i dont know how much more of this i can take.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

So Emotional

due to some recent events we are staying with some friends for awhile. i can honestly say that since we have been here i have been so depressed, upset, and emotional. it doesnt help thatchris told me that we wouldnt play video games while the kids are up but thats what hess been doing all day long every day with my friends husband. im supposed to be on bedrest and thats near impossible when im running after kids and taking them up and down stairs. i had to go grocery shopping and had to go alone while chris played video games. soph is so heavy and i had to pack her car seat around everywhere and put her in the basket of the caart, have no room for groceries and the way they were bagged, they weighed about thirty pounds each. well im cramping and bleeding which ive done through out this pregnancy with stress and its so hard holding back tears. the boys went to hastings aand rented yet more games... i cant even look at chris or talk to him and i am just done with everything. we dont have a lot of money coming in right now and chris paid their net and cable bill so they could play xbox live. the only thing we bought for the baby was the fisher price sugar plum bouncer... thats all we have so far and im starting to wonder if we will have everything by the time she gets here... sorry about the gramical errors, im on my phone and for some reason its not letting me capitalize anything or put things the way they need to be.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

It's a........

Baby Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Madison Brielle is going to be her name! We are SO excited!


Monday, November 14, 2011


Tomorrow at noon is our elective ultrasound and I am SO excited! This day is just dragging on and on though. I think a long time has passed and it's only been 10 minutes! Trying to find a way to keep myself busy... So far, not working! It doesn't help that Soph is sleeping, Chey is resting, and daddy, well he's sleeping too! So I'm the ONLY one awake and I feel like I'm going to go crazy. I mean the house can only be so clean! Maybe I'll fix a big dinner tonight! Hah!

On top of that I woke up this morning at about 4:45am and I felt SO sick! I had to run to the bathroom but thankfully didn't throw up. Still a bit nauseous now but too anxious to actually rest a bit.

Chris was so sweet last night... I can't reach my legs to shave them so he helped me and then rubbed my legs and feet with lotion. It was so nice to have a foot massage.... Ahhhhhh, heaven!


Friday, November 11, 2011

4 days!

OMG only FOUR days until we know what baby is! I am so excited I can't even see straight! I just hope everyone is well! Chey has thrown up the last two nights, only at night and it's a few times a night. I think her body is trying to clear out all the mucus from her being sick. She's fine during the day, she can keep everything down. Just as a precaution we are keeping her away from Sophie and Chris insists that she stay away from me too but that's a little hard as I am mom. I have felt really sick today but I think it's because I haven't eaten too much today. Nothing sounds appetizing and I want something then change my mind right before I make it. I REALLY want McDonald's but that's a no go... I ate McDonald's twice last week and felt so bad because of how greasy the food is.. I know it's not the best for the baby OR me... And on top of that I've cut soda completely out of my diet except if we get fast food or go out and I feel guilty about that too. I completely forget about the soda until it's halfway gone. I don't even realize what I'm doing, I guess habit. Trying to figure out tomorrow's dinner. Chris is making stroganoff tonight (YUM!). It's an easy recipe, easy enough for the cooking illiterate husband of mine to follow anyways.. Although he hates sour cream so doesn't add much in, I will have to add about a half a cup to mine as I LOVE it!


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Soon soon!

My allergies have been kicking my butt the last week or so. Other than that I've just been stressed. Due to recent family events, I will not be spending the holidays with my family and that scares the hell out of me. I've never had a Thanksgiving or Christmas without them. I'm not sure what to think about it... I'm hurt, I'm scared, I don't know what we're going to do on the holidays.... I like to have things planned out and this is NOT my planning!

On the brighter side of things, we are finding out what baby is on November 15th! We have a few names picked out but have to narrow them down and I'll reveal them as soon as we find out what baby is. I'm a little nervous as I will only be 16 weeks 4 days but I'm pretty sure they could tell right?! With Soph, at 15 weeks you could SO see her girly parts so I'm confident. We are going to Fetal Fotos and get this, I live in Idaho and Idaho is their MOST EXPENSIVE pricing out of all their franchise! We are paying $125 for a 2D Session which include still images, CD of the images and live video of baby. I'm so excited as my midwife doesn't do video. Other states close by, their prices for the same thing are $95 and under for the same thing! I couldn't believe it! I have to make a note to ask why haha

The girls are doing good... Just getting over allergies too. We had to keep Chey home from school for a whole dang week, she was very upset about that but too sick to be at school. Soph is pulling herself up now and she's so dang happy! She's such a little sweetie!